In Their Words:

Dougie

People often asked me why I didn’t get a puppy, something cute….”why do you always rescue?” “aren’t you afraid of “these” dogs?!” “Get something like Lola!” …… to rescue a dog is a selfless act, a commitment, a challenge, a heartbreak, a test. Dougie was our 4th Rotti. His beginning was heartbreaking.

After our boy, Mishko, died in a tragic accident, we were beyond devastated. We immediately sought help to deal with the mental anguish. He choked on a ball right in front of us. We tried in vain to save him. It was impossible. A ball….Ive had dogs my whole life. a ball……It was over in minutes. Calls to the vet, they couldn’t come, calls to a pet ambulance, we got voice mail, calls to 911, put on hold and told to call 311, I was friends with the police captain, he dispatched a car with a cop with vet experience – minutes – he was lifeless. We threw him in the car, ran lights, got him to the vet barely breathing, they tried but couldn’t dislodge it. Minutes…..my son who was a medical student at the time tried his best – the heimlich does not work on dogs. 

With this tragic loss and overwhelming quiet in the house, trying to save my family I said let’s rescue another – not to replace Mishko but to help us somehow. This is how Dougie came to be. As an Angel. As our savior.

I found Dougie at a rescue upstate. They had warned me he was a “second hope”. He was badly abused, found tied to a pole on a frigid January evening. He suffered a broken leg, head trauma, his whiskers were burned on one side. He had a scar on his face. His leg shook constantly – neurological damage they said. Untreated lime disease left him with an occasional seizure. He had trust issues. We were told not to touch him for at least a month. So here we were with this rotti who walked around my house passing us all by and just watching us, growling.  He would circle us and lean on us daring us to touch him. He bit my daughter the first day because of course she touched him. He was a baby at the time – probably 2. Very small for a rotti, skinny. While he had a “temper” which was more from fear, he also had no rotti skills. He was timid, yet he growled. I had my hands full with him. His decompression literally took a few years forget months.  I’m played lullabies for him everynight. He just needed time and love. He was so worth the work. He used to cry in his sleep for years. It broke my heart to think what he was remembering. I used to get out of bed and lay with him in the floor.

When Dougie came out of his shell, he was loyal to everyone equally. He was especially glued to my husband. He slept with my daughter – 2 peas in a pod, and sat on my son to guard him – he was very protective over my son who was born profoundly deaf – it’s as if he knew. Me I was just Mom. What forever will be in my heart is the way he raced around looking for me when I wasn’t in the room. Oh Dougie if I only knew I was going to lose you Id never leave you alone ever. I wish I didn’t make that last trip. While it was only Florida, it was about 2 weeks before he died. A week away I wish I spent with him. He was on my mind the whole trip. I kept telling my husband I miss him. I want to go home . Funny thng he said the same. It’s as if it were a premonition. My daughter text me the day before we were coming home to say his toe was bleeding and it all came together in my head that maybe the cancer was back. 

When I returned I called the vet. First we did a video visit. They said it’s unusual that it would skip a digit in the middle and go to another toe. she said if it was they caught it early bring him in. Doughie always had to be sedated to go to the vet. We bought him in, they did blood work, it came back positive for squamous cell carcinoma again. I called the surgeon who took care of him the firs time. they were confident. it’s early its unusual it’s on another digit. they could remove it. he’ll need a prosthetic possibly. he’ll be lame, but could walk with a limp, Do it i said. they needed more blood work and a CT scan x rays. X rays were good. no cancer anyplace else. the blood work showed his liver enzymes up but he was older so still no concern although anesthesia was questionable. The CT machine was down at the surgeon’s office so they sent me to another. She put him under flushed his system with fluids and said he could withstand the surgery. She called that evening and said the radiologist saw an aneurysm. “what?!” “No no!” I cried. The phone started ringing what was i supposed to do, they didn’t want to risk the surgery. they’re talking about palliative care. I call the rescue NYC 2nd chance rescue hysterical “what do i do? Help me!” His bills were already 15k+ i didn’t care about the $ i kept hitting the card. i wanted to save him but was i doing the right thing? The vets said he could live a few more months. they knew a cardiologist at the NY animal hospital in manhattan. ok lets go! they would pick up the bill and get me in ASAP. in the meantime Dougie is happy as a clam, eating his cookies, we’re having yogurt in the am. He had some ice cream the night before he died. I remember saying to him “ride the wave!” I went to dinner with my brother that night, Dougie was waiting for me with a big happy smile, tail wagging, giving me a hug the way he did, he’d stand between my legs and and i’d bend over and hug him. he ran to the kitchen for his cookie. i threw it to him he caught it. I said look Uncle tony bought you a present he chewed on it a few times dropped it and threw up. That was the end. He was gone in 5 hrs from then. I thought he threw up a few times ok, but he became wobbly and dropped. I still can t believe it.

i don’t want people to just think about how Dougie died or his horrible beginning. Dougie became such a source of light and joy! he loved getting dressed up for the holidays, for my daughter’s wedding with his tux, he loved his coat and hat. he loved a blanket. He slept next to me every evening and waited for me to get up every morning and when he was up and ready to go he’d wake me up with a wet snort in my face and sometimes a kiss. He was Happy with all that he went through he learned to trust again. He loved the holidays, he loved to go for walks, he loved to eat. We always said it was Dougie’s world. He had a dog bed, but he slept where he wanted. He put his toys in specific spots in the house and if you moved them, he put them right back. Certain times of the day he slept in the bathroom, other times he was in the foyer, we called that Dougie’s house. My kids have all moved out and he took over their rooms as his own with his toys. My office was his office as well. Right now he’d be by my side sleeping. This is the hard part. I miss him so much and I want him back. 

I miss you Dougie ! Every breakfast. Lunch and dinner You sat on your drool towel and waited. it was always “some for me some for Douglas”. Lunch and dinner were the same. It’s so quiet now in my house. this is the time when I cry. I try to keep busy, it’s when I sit down to do something and I look for him. Where is he?! This part is unbearable.

Dougie I know I’ll see you again. I miss you. What makes your leaving so much more difficult is that I don’t think there will be another and if so not a rotti. 

My husband doesn’t say much about it anymore. Dougie was his companion. He sat next to him every day in his recliner and if he sat there for hrs so did Dougie. My husband had a very hard time after Mishko died as we all did. Dougie had hard shoes to fill and he did

First we had Brutus he was there when my oldest was born. we waited a while before we got King. King was my soulmate. I loved him more than life. We were always together. He was a rescue also a very bad beginning. He was between 2-4 when we got him and we had him over 10 years. A piece of me died with him. We got Miskho immediately after King died. My husband tried to cheer me up. Mishko was one of a kind. So smart.Then my Dougie. I think his passing is an accumulation of all of them because I feel like i never got the time to truly grieve the others. It’s like an avalanche.

To know this sort of love and loyalty and devotion is priceless. It’s also the worst heartbreak.

Dougie I will never forget you along with the rest of your brothers. You were one of a kind and seriously gave me a run for my money. The toughest Ive ever had, but Id do it again in a heartbeat. The gift you turned out to be was well worth it. Mommy loves you my boy. xoxoxoxoxo